Sweet Liaisons
by Pappillon
Summary: (Based on the mobile game, Cookie Run.) Chili Pepper Cookie plans to steal Princess's treasures, but can she pull it off? (Features Chili Pepper Cookie, Princess Cookie, Pirate Cookie, and Knight Cookie.)
1. Chapter 1

A drawing of a crudely rendered chest had been pinned to the bark of the tree with Chili Pepper's dagger, Princess White Chocolate Raspberry's depiction next to it. In long pencil sketches, she regally faced forward, bejeweled hands set in a ladylike manner at her waist. She looked as though she supported an imaginary teacup, which Chili imitated. Pretending to lift it to her head, her lips twisted in the mirror she held.

"Ar, don't move around! You're ruining yer hair!"

Pirate, having dressed as a courtly servant, looped another long strand of hair around his hook, and pinned it into Chili's mass of curls. They were piled to resemble a raspberry, imitating White Chocolate Raspberry's to the strand, if not off color to her berry red.

Chili touched one of the coils framing her face. "How did you get so good at doing hair, Pirate?"

"I went to beauty school before commitin' to me life of crime."

"Oh."

"It's almost time for ye makeup, but first, hand me that pin."

In the dirt, glinting white gold, was a pin topped with a jewel berry. It matched the one in the drawing, as everything else had; Chili had stolen the outfit.

Pirate pinned the ornament to the foot of her mountainous curls. With the end of his hook, he touched Chili's forehead. "Yer scar."

"You can cover it up, right?"

"Ar! _Of course I can!_ I was top of me class." Pirate produced a compact of powdered sugar, and with a brush, applied it to Chili's face, taking her wild red to a mild pink. "Ay, this is how the noble women prefer to do it."

"Yeah, well, it better look convincing."

Pirate dabbed the brush right over her nose, causing her to sneeze and him to laugh. Shoving him, Chili laughed too, as Pirate caked her forehead and applied lavender blush to her cheeks. With white chocolate icing, he plumped her lashes and outlined her lips, copying each line by the portrait's suggestion. With a dot of dark chocolate to the left of her cupid's bow, he held up the mirror.

"Wow," Chili said, taking it. She modeled her left and right side, then faced forward. Her scar had disappeared beneath the snowfall of powder. "You shouldn't have dropped out of beauty school. I look just like her."

"Ar, it was too expensive! Anyhow, ye may look like a princess, but do ye remember how to act like one?"

"Of course I remember. Before _my_ life of crime, they sent me to finishing school, you know." Standing, posing her hands feminely with her powdered nose in the air, Chili strutted to the opening of their hollowed tree as if a teacup balanced on her head. "Come on. I can tell by the light outside that it's getting late."

"Just as long as ye remember the deal!"

"Yeah, yeah! Half the spoils go to you! _Come on!_ "

They left the tree trunk and boarded their stolen carriage, pilfered from a noble cookie days before. Its regular graham cracker walls they painted in white chocolate, and finished with dots of berry red. Chili had seen the original outside White Chocolate Raspberry's castle, resplendent with adornments of silver foil.

With its rich peppermint wheels, it drove them quickly to the ball once Pirate took the reins.

The cookie horse slowed from a run to a trot once approaching the castle, stopping before the long flight of stairs paved in sugar crystals. Pirate dismounted to open the door for Chili, taking her hand as she stepped from the carriage.

"Are ye ready?" He whispered.

"I was made for this."

"I'll be waiting for ye here. Just don't be gettin' too giddy now."

The castle attendants came to wordlessly bow and escort Chili to the ball, lingering on Pirate's eyepatch.

"Never you mind him," Chili said in her haughtiest voice, ascending. "He lost his eye in a horrendous horsing accident of which he prefers not to speak."

The attendants shrugged and followed her up, each step of her heels deliberate, the train of her gown tracing behind. She had practiced, clacking around the forest floor in the most expensive pair of shoes she had ever stolen. Yet, stairs had been a while, and the solid golden point of her heel was particularly unforgiving.

Eventually, they reached the palace, whose open doors blared a cacophony of light and violin strings over a wave of chatter. Crossing the threshold, the cookies on either side played their trumpets.

"Announcing Princess White Chocolate Raspberry!"

She curtseyed and they welcomed her, a round of polite, gloved applause.

Descending the stairs into the ballroom, she surveyed the area. Well-dressed cookies whose gowns were cast in the most expensive ingredients stood in small groups. They blended into a sea of pastel sugar, undulating by the delicate movement of their hands and the occasional outbreak of laughter.

Chili folded herself in, the outskirts of her gown brushing against various attendees. They greeted her with, "Good evening, Princess," to which she replied, "Good evening," and kept searching.

Eventually, she found her target, tucked near the back wall of the ballroom where the violins wailed the loudest. It was nearly impossible to hear over their sweeping notes, but an older cookie tried holding her in conversation. His words inaudibly birthed from a bushy mustache, shifting back and forth but never revealing his mouth. His speech sounded like a delicate bumbling from a grandfather, to which Princess nodded. She glanced occasionally away, fondling the bright golden chain of her heart-shaped locket.

" _Princess!_ " Chili Pepper called, waving. Taking her side, she looped their arms together. "It simply has been an age! You wouldn't mind if I steal her away, would you?" She referred to the man, who bumbled softly into his mustache. "Not to worry. I'll be sure to bring her back." Chili performed her most shrill noble laugh and swept Princess away.

They absconded several steps before releasing each other.

"Oh!" Princess placed her hand over her heart. "I never thought I would escape. Thank you for rescuing me."

"I'm well suited to recognize when fellow Royalty is in distress." Chili blinked her long lashes. "I hadn't any choice but to save you."

"Fellow Royalty? You'll have to forgive me for not recognizing you, but—"

Chili Pepper scoffed. "Surely you must! I am Princess White Chocolate Raspberry!"

"Oh!" Princess touched Chili's arm. "I believe we've met once before. Excuse me for mistaking you. I'm actually quite surprised. You don't usually come to our gatherings."

"Well, sometimes one must escape the shackles of a busy palace. I'm usually preoccupied, but for the sake of my well-being, I simply had to come to this ball. I'm certain you can understand."

"Oh, not really—" In the background, the music rose well above the chatter, swelling out the conversation. Above it, Princess nearly shouted. "Oh, sweet sugar! Would you like to talk somewhere else? That music is giving me a headache!"

"Certainly!"

As Princess linked arms with Chili Pepper, voluminous sleeves brushing, Chili caught the stare of a knight in full pink armor, flowers placed upon his helmet. He looked briefly to Princess, eyes following as she took Chili from the crowd. He stared even as they blended into it, masked by rich sugar and iced frosting nobility.

He only disappeared when they had reached the outside, escaping into the fresh night air like a relieved gasp. The music followed them, albeit reduced to a whisper of sighing violins.

Princess sat on the staircase leading to the garden and Chili Pepper joined her.

"Surely we shouldn't be here." She said, kicking off one of her heels, "but I couldn't take much more." She kicked off the other, which clattered down a few steps before stopping on its side.

Chili kept hers on, admiring the tiny purple blossoms carefully affixed around her creme-white toes. "You had said you couldn't relate to getting out. Whatever did you mean?"

"Oh—" Princess folded her hands upon her lap, deflating her ballooning skirts. "I don't get to leave often. If anyone goes, it's Mother and Father, for business."

"They never take you with them?"

"Never."

"But how could that be?"

"Well, they want me to practice ruling. 'One day it will be my turn,' of course."

"In that case, it seems to me that you should go with them."

"I think so too."

Princess leaned back. That evening, the sky was nearly empty of clouds, aside from a puffy purple one strolling lazily across the moon. The constellations shined clearly: an archer firing arrows to rid evil spirits, a tree god with antlers like branches, a sea fairy seeking revenge by the point of her sword.

"Do you get to go anywhere?" Princess asked.

"Of course. I'm always traveling, but primarily for business. I go so many places and have to leave so soon, I feel as though I'm on the run."

"That's no fun!" Princess said. "Do you at least get to go shopping?"

Chili smiled her off-kilter smile. "I love shopping."

"Which kingdom has been your favorite?"

"It's difficult to say." Chili looked into the sky. "Once my court and I had taken a trip to the City of the Millennium Tree, which is so full of riches, even the marketplace was rife with gold. I toured one of their temples, and at the very end, I received an ancient artifact, as a gift."

Chili neglected to mention that she received it by kicking over the head priestess. Inconsequential details.

"Wow, that sounds so fun."

"It was quite exciting, and it worked out well. I always try to take a souvenir from wherever I go."

"Really?" Princess perked. "Me too." She glanced back to the Palace. The silhouettes of the cookies inside showed through the windows, speaking with their hands, laughing, but the music continued as it had. No one had stopped it to search for her. "I have a trinket collection I'd like to show you, but you can't tell anyone of it, okay?"

"Truly? Where?"

"It's past the garden. Quickly, let's go."

Princess yet again linked their arms and led Chili down the steps. She ran so easily, having left her heels near the top of the stairs, toward the party where they belonged. Chili stopped her halfway, removing her shoes, but rather than dropping them, held them in her free hand. Princess's eyes flashed at the brief redness of Chili Pepper's feet, but didn't comment and kept running.

Through the garden, the air smelled of flowers, which passed as smears of white and pink. Their spots of color resembled an impressionist painting in a gallery full of perfume, but neither stopped to admire the pieces. They passed flower boxes brimming with perfectly raised blooms, rare plants the royal family kept in droves, bulbs that glowed in the dark.

The garden was long, but eventually they escaped to the other side, in a grove of well-kept, abundant trees.

"Okay," Princess said. "It's right over here. Promise me you won't tell anyone."

"I swear I won't." Out of breath, Chili Pepper dabbed at her forehead. "Show me."

Disappearing behind a particularly thick tree trunk, Princess leaned over, brushing away the dirt from its roots. Covered in a light layer of earth, she removed a dark brown box—a color difficult to see unless one knew where to look.

She brushed off as much dirt as she could, coming back into the moonlight.

Chili's heart beat to the tune of Princess's feet. She held out the box between them, so willing, so generous, and sat on the ground.

Chili did too, and Princess opened the box.

"It's not much," she said. Inside, organized in neat rows, were little things—a hand-carved fork from a branch, a silver charm whose shine was fading, a dessert plate, a curtain tassel, a bottle opener, a cork.

"I actually feel kind of bad," Princess said. "Some of these things I took without asking, but I wanted to remember the few times I've left."

Chili Pepper took the cork from the box, exposing it to the moonlight. She put it back and examined the charm, the fork, and the bottle opener, sighing to herself.

"I tried to take things that no one would miss," Princess said, "and I'm proud to say I haven't been caught yet."

"You're mischievous, aren't you?" Chili Pepper closed the box. "Here I thought you were going to show me something truly scandalous."

Princess blushed. "Still, you won't tell anyone, right?"

"Of course not. What sort of scoundrel do you take me for?"

"Oh, thank you, White Chocolate Raspberry—"

A noise stopped them from speaking. It sounded like plates of armor clashing at a high speed. "Princess!" A low voice called from the distance.

Before Chili Pepper could properly run, Knight arrived, skidding to a stop before them. "Princess!" He said, pulling a scroll from his armor. "This cookie is not who she appears to be!" Unfurling it, he presented the same drawing of White Chocolate Raspberry that Chili kept in the hideout. Pointing with a gloved finger, he indicated her beauty mark. "As you can see, Princess, the _real_ White Chocolate Raspberry's beauty mark is a millimeter to the left of where this _imposter_ has painted hers! And furthermore—"

"This might be my cue to go," Chili Pepper dropped the accent.

" _What?_ "

Pulling Princess in close, Chili Pepper pressed their lips together. A shock passed over Princess's body, but she didn't pull away, closing her eyes and placing her hand against Chili's face.

"What in the world are you doing?" Knight dropped the drawing.

As Princess played with her hair, Chili grasped her locket and pulled it free, turning to run. Before going, she cut herself from her dress with the dagger kept in her skirts, catching the glint of pale gold in Princess's hand. The clip.

Knight gave chase, but Chili Pepper had taken too much of the lead. She was too difficult to see in black, even clutching the golden locket and her stolen heels.


	2. Chapter 2

Exhausted, Chili Pepper lay on the dirt floor of her hideout. Her hair, elegantly curled, mingled with the ground, while her makeup ran. Princess's locket clutched in her right hand, she released a long sigh. Pirate entered.

The sun had barely started to rise, but Chili could see him, out of breath in his costume, stopping at the threshold of the tree.

"Ye could have told me that the mission was unsuccessful."

"I couldn't have," Chili rose. Her body creaked as she winced. "Her Knight was after me. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. What she had in her 'treasure chest' were just a bunch of knick knacks." Chili removed a bag of coins from her pants pocket, tossing it to Pirate.

He caught it at the end of his hook.

"Ar, it's not like ye to be so generous."

"I wasted your time." Chili Pepper stood on buckling knees, finding the mirror and beginning to undo her messy curls. "I should at least pay you for doing my hair."

"Let me help. Yer going to damage it, ripping it apart like that."

Pirate came and, as easily as he had styled it, dismantled her curls. Every few seconds, he would toss a bobby pin to the ground, like removing the needle of a cactus. Slowly, sections came loose and he brushed through them with a gentle hand.

"Yer startin' to look a little more like yeself."

"Thanks, Pirate."

"Did ye have fun, at least?" Another lock, freed. "I can see ye took something off the lady. Maybe one could say that ye _stole her heart_."

"Get out of here!" But Chili was smirking.

Before the sun rose, Chili and Pirate packed up the inside of the tree as not to leave a trace. The guards would look for them, and in the early morning light, they said their goodbyes.

"Don't be gettin' caught, now." Pirate hugged her. "It's time I go back out to sea, but I'll send ye a letter the next chance I get."

Chili cracked his back with an embrace. "You better."

They went their separate ways. Pirate disappeared into the forest while Chili Pepper hid herself within a bushy tree, where she sat and waited.

The morning began in earnest and the guards came to look for her, passing underneath the trees in loud sets of armor, as if they would catch anyone making so much noise. They called to one another. From her tree, Chili Pepper could see that they had found her hideout, but with nothing inside, they scratched their heads and kept looking.

Afternoon rose. Evening fell. They returned to the palace, grumbling that she must have moved on already.

The night continued to descend, and Chili Pepper left her belongings in the branches of that tree. She scarred it with her dagger as she dropped to the ground and started back toward the castle.

The guards didn't spot her as she stalked silently between bushes. They didn't see her as she hid in the darkness behind the enormous plants in the garden. No one caught her hugging the palace's perimeter as she scaled the lattice to the tower, where Princess sat inside at her vanity. They had focused so many of their guards around the forest and the garden, assuming they would have apprehended her before the palace itself. The only indication of her, however, was Princess's shout as Chili Pepper plopped onto her floor.

She presented the locket.

"You!" Princess said, clutching where the pendant normally sat above her chest. Though, rather than alert her guards, she claimed her locket, ripping it from Chili's hand. "How did you even get in here? You had better leave before I—before I kick you from the window!"

Chili grinned. "I don't think you'd really kick me out the window, _Hairpin Thief_."

Princess gasped. "You—you! You charlatan! I—I was hoping you wouldn't notice."

Chili Pepper laughed. "Of course I noticed. It was a nice pin." She turned to the window. "Anyway, I just came to return your locket. I wouldn't normally, but—" she looked behind her shoulder, to Princess. "You're one of the nicer rich cookies I've met. They're usually insufferable, but I had a good time with you. When you kicked off your shoes like that, I don't know. There's something about you. Anyway," Chili Pepper prepared to jump but Princess interrupted.

"Wait! You can't—you can't just leave—"

Chili Pepper set her feet back in the tower, sitting at the ledge. "Yeah? Why not?"

"Well—you returned my locket but—" Princess blushed. "I have yet to return your kiss."

Chili Pepper smirked again, laughing. "That's what you want? Well, I'd be happy to—"

But Princess had cut her off, smashing their lips together. Nearly sending her out of the window, she simultaneously held Chili close, grabbing her by the ponytail.

Chili's face had grown hotter than usual.

"Listen," Princess said, holding her hips. "I know what you mean about wealthy cookies. They _are_ insufferable. I kind of knew you weren't really her, even before I saw your scar beneath the makeup." Chili's breath hitched. "You did a great job with the costume, but White Chocolate Raspberry wouldn't have saved me from that conversation. The one time I met her, she barely looked at me, she seemed so cold. But you listened. So maybe—maybe you can come back? Maybe I could even leave with you for a while?"

Chili kissed Princess's forehead, lips stretched into a smile. "I'll come back. I promise."

"Thank you."

Chili finally dropped from the window and disappeared into the night. Princess watched the vague outline of her shadow, clutching the silver clasp of one of her belts.


End file.
